Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
