When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
