So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You can't special order awesome
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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