I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize