The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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