Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
