discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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