Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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