He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
