dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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