We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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