just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
