She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
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All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
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I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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