I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
