So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
