why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize