Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
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just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
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Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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