dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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