The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
