Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
