he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
