Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
