He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
