I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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