he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
