Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
