I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
