Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Randomize
