BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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