i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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