so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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