did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I checked into jail on foursquare
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
