i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
4 words: hood of his car
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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