Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
