Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
