I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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