Fine. I'll sleep in my office
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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