Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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