i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
