I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
