i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
