So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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