Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
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Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
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My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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