She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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