I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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