No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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