it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize