I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize