Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
So much Jack, so little girl.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
