p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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