are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
