when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
