And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We need to get me chipped asap
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
