did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
