Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
